Howlympics

Smack Talk

The 2012 Howlympics is an open call for writing about and inspired by the London Olympics. Everyone is encouraged to submit their writing. Find details here.

SOPHOCLES walks into the locker room. He sees EURIPEDES stretching.

SOPH
Nervous?

EURI
(turning) Huh?

SOPH Nervous?

EURI No.

SOPH
Are you sure?

EURI
I have nothing to be nervous about.

SOPH
Are you sure?

EURI
Course.

SOPH
Ok....

EURI
You're just trying to psych me out. It won't work.

SOPH
I'm not doing anything.

EURI
So go somewhere else.

SOPH
Why. Do I make you nervous?

EURI
My plays are just as good as yours.

SOPH
Are you sure?

EURI
Shut up.

SOPH
Oh Euri. Euri.

EURI
Shut up!

SOPH
Look at you. You are nervous. You're in here trying to squeeze out a few last push-ups. A few pathetic stretches. Making every desperate attempt to convince yourself you're going to come out on top.

EURI
I'm ready. We're all ready. My team is at its peak. They're bursting out of their skin to perform. We've been rehearsing for months.

SOPH
I'm sorry, how many times have you won again? How long did it take you to win your first competition?

EURI
My plays are just as good as yours.

SOPH
That's not what I hear.

EURI
What?

SOPH
Nervous?

EURI
No.

SOPH
Why should you be. Why should you worry about what people say about you … your work … all that ordinary dialogue, all those … ordinary characters and those endings? But you're right. Why should you worry about what people think. What judges might think …

EURI
You're the one who's nervous. You're working so hard to pysch me out, just hoping I'll falter.

SOPH
Euri. I want you to perform your best.

EURI
You do?

SOPH
Of course. Because then when I beat you....

EURI
Shut up.

SOPH
When I win first place …

EURI
I'm not listening.

SOPH
When I win gold, and the crowd is shouting my name, I'll know you've tried your best. And it wasn't good enough.

EURI
You suck.

SOPH
I mean Medea? Euri. Really.

EURI
My plays are not just as good as yours. They're better than yours.

SOPH
I guess we'll find out.

EURI
I guess we will, Soph.

SOPH
When you lose.

EURI
You're going down.

SOPH
You are such a tragedy.

EUPHORION bounces in.

EUPH
You guys! Can you believe this? I can't believe this! Isn't this the best? Isn't it exciting? I'm so excited to be here! I cannot believe that I am here and I have plays in the same competition as Sophocles, (gives SOPH a bear hug) and Euripides (hugs EURI) You guys, I can hardly stand it! (to SOPH) Good luck to you. (to EURI) And you. Good luck to both of you. I hope your plays go really really well. And may the best man win. Isn't it too bad there has to be one winner? Wouldn't it be awesome if we all got gold medals cause we're so great?  (he gives a squeal and runs off).

EURI
Who was that?

SOPH
Euphorion.

EURI
Aeschules' son?

SOPH
The same.

EURI
Huh.

SOPH
Yeah.

There is a pause.

EURI
We can take him.

SOPH
You know it.

EURI
There's no way he can beat us.

SOPH
Not a chance.

EURI
He's going down.

The two high five.
THE END.

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Thoughts from the curator

A series inspired by the 2012 London Olympics.

Howlympics: 2012 Olympics

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